on behalf of every man

so I'm herenot a wranglernotgetting any from the bossand if dontI I might quit but why is he attracted togross girlswith acne??? And why won't my friends text me back? And why am I here? Not being with horses 24/7? Notliving with mydogs death? My life? My future is ok cause I think I must giveupon that thinking.. Its an endless circle. When you're a hs obsessed Yale bound goody virgin that'd what you should be. I never will be. I'm just a failed fucked used damaged shy loser whose co counselors acne apparently attracts the onlyhott - very hott guy at camp....I might be better athome I really might.but my tooth chipped bottom left front. And I can't say if itsfrom lack of milk or the substance but likely the latter and cigarettes. It sucks. I need veneers.I need toget out. Of the galaxy. So hard. Lifeis a mess. I don't know how I do it. Jjjjjjjjjjjjjj it'd be better if I didn't know I was leaving ca in 3 months. It makes me robotic. When I'm already unstable and overtly exhausted. You can'timagine being a counselor here. Its abig messy shit.and being hated.for reasons unknown..... But that's ALWAYS me. So happy dia. I need a ny roommate.and..... A DOG and HOrSES and my boss and is fucking GOAT!!!!!!!! If we don't get it I'mjust gona kill SOMEbody. A child. They're easy. But too loud.

the beginning of the hell again

I'm back where I was

I'm finished false happiness

Watch me go through a spiral of anxiety

And self-destruction back to a hopeless suicidal victim

I won't be able to handle anything this way

I don't deserve this

raaaahhhggbjjhbdrrrrrrruuhbdbhdjfbfrrrrr

ok apparently blogger censored my post... Whatevs. I wrote that while in a weird state..
very weird
anyway now I'm... Something
still completely Fucking clueless honestly.
Aaahhh WTF am I to do about it though. (my iphone capitalises WTF hahaa it loves the cuss)
okkk well um I guess
I um don't know.
Maybe not talk to my madr again uh
kicked out of my house for having a 2 9, job, nother job, goals, achievable aspirations and the self-control
Why is my goddamn mom in the same bedroom as my dad?
WTF why stay the fucking same?
I get fucked for it.
By someone who hates me just for the fact that I'm alive. I came out of her HGffgHhgfFrRreeeAaasaaagh SOME PaeOLLE Should not have kids!!!!
Aggghhhh that is such a fucing ISSUE to me!!!!
I would be the best mother!!
But not this week.. Jjhhgfgj how ironic
anywayyyy rrraaaooouuyywwee eeeee
GOD
GggoooddDdddDdd I wish kinda.
man I'm so fucked. The fture looks vague
and STUPiD
S t u p I d
maaaa shit.
SHit.
and thatcssss all
but Be Happy!!! Drink a beer.
i wana go on top chef just for the free beer ahahaha
no I'm not that into beer and wine anymore
well uh or a lot of things. I shall...... Change. How often?
Gimme a split second
wa
raa raaoouughe

it's either them or a drug dealer

do you think maybe the pirate skull and crossbones on the wall might be a bad omen?
I can't post a picture of a model right now. Note auto capitalizing.
sexxxxxy though

Oh look it's my bday
happy beed to me
fortunately I have special people about to don me quite enjoyable gifts on this fine morning
AND DISNEYLANDDDDDD YE

texted

give me my money
because you don't treat me nice
so you don't deserve to remind me
unless you at least pay me what i was meant to make

your winter

my check came in the mail today and it's $100 short
i can't avoid him and i'm not calling him for at least a week

it put me in a depression immediately
i started flipping out and my mom
is an insensitive bitch

i just wanted to get drunk

apparently i didn't give myself that option


i'm fighting myself not to be depressed

if my roommate gets a job at that restaurant i'm going to kill myself

continued.

home


















lula
tesk



licking me






















modeling!
this pose is so modeling bc she never holds herself/moves like this when there isn't a camera in front of her!























lu and i kissing
her favourite thing to do























sebastian and alex now



when i got here stupid belg told me she's gona kill him and 'was just waiting til i got home.' she's such a fucked up bitch he is FINE and HAPPY he lost 10 pounds but he walks ALL THE TIME when i'm here cause he LOVES me and i LOVE him. she hates him and neglects the SHIT OUT OF HIM and that's why he doesn't walk or show happiness around her. obviously she's making him lose the will to live and i'm fuckin angry about it she is lessening his life and if she ever kills him i'll fucking never talk to her again. he deserves to live but MOST importantly he WANTS to live i am pretty sure. EVERY SINGLE time i go near him he stands up and walks around the ENTIRE time i'm near him. and when my friends came over he wouldn't sit down or stop being with us and ate sooo much food. i KNOW he wants to be happy and live. SHE'S like a goddamn CONCENTRATION CAMP to him and she's a malicious bitch to him and MAKING HIM die. I FUCKING HAVE TO DO SOMETHING


her leg got shaved for the iv it's soo cute even though she hates me hahaha and bites only me even though she's blind and deaf aha









younger

















pictures i can't post anywhere proper cause jimmy's in them































btw my little brother just told me i'm not pretty
aha
ok but he said halle berry is
oooooh ok